OPEN BOOK
“I am transparent, An open book; There’s no choice in the matter but the breath from my mind is living air, and the notes from my heart are what I share. Words weren’t made for cowards.” Happy Rhodes
For the past 12-plus years my life has been an open book. It all started when I had open-heart surgery to replace my leaky aortic valve. It continued with Cat’s diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer’s, when we made the counterintuitive decision to sell everything and become nomads. We ran/walked road races of various distances all over the world. All seven continents all 50 states while visiting 83 countries.
I wrote a lot of motivational articles while I was a management pilot at UPS for 27 years. At the time, I didn’t really consider myself a writer, but after 2 books and hundreds of posts on my website, RunningwithCat.com, I guess I should reconsider that classification.
My tagline is: I aspire to inspire till I expire, and I see my writing as my way of doing so.
When you’re facing one of life’s greatest challenges, putting your story into words might seem like the last thing on your mind. Yet countless people have discovered that memoir writing as a healing practice offers something unexpected: clarity, connection, and even peace amid chaos.
Writing your life story is more than documenting events. It’s an act of meaning-making, a way to transform raw experience into narrative that helps you understand what happened and who you became because of it. For caregivers, grieving family members, and anyone navigating serious illness or loss, memoir writing can become a lifeline.
This last year has been a whirlwind starting with Cat taking her last breath 1 year ago on September 26, 2025. You can read about that mystical passing in this post. Kismet.
https://runningwithcat.com/kismet/
During this last year, I have crisscrossed the world with 149 stops. I have scattered her ashes in 55 memorable places and raised a glass in a toast with 105 different friends and relatives.
At this point, I am undecided as to whether I will continue inundating the airwaves with my musings or just become a private citizen occasionally posting a picture of something on top of my head. Cat insisted that I tell the world about her valiant battle with this dreadful disease and I will take cues from her spirit as if I do indeed continue to open my heart and mind to the masses. As they say, only time will tell.
I must admit I truly appreciate all the encouragement along the way and hope I have lived up to my tagline. I do know that I will continue as a nomad for the foreseeable future. which at this point I have been for soon to be 12 years, 4299 days and a total of 818 stops with Cat plus 148 stops this last year honoring her for a total of 966 stops. So, in other words I have been packing and unpacking my bags every 4.5 days. I know I do need to slow down and increase the time at each stop so that is what I will be working on.
Travel is in my blood. Our mom traveled until she was 80 and our dad well into his 90’s and I have had a bag packed ready to go for 50-plus years. There is still so much I want to see in this world and at the same time spend time with my 4 kids and soon-to-be 9 grandkids.
I noticed something:
People who have traveled a lot tend to judge less. Not because they became nicer, but because they’ve seen too many versions of what’s “normal.”
In one country, it’s normal to eat with your hands. In another, it’s normal to stay quiet at the table. In a third, it’s normal to hug strangers.
When you’ve seen 30 different versions of “the right way,” you stop believing yours is the only one.
Travel doesn’t just teach geography. It teaches tolerance.
I am presently in Malaga, Spain taking a break between two half marathons. Copenhagen, Denmark last week and Cardiff, Wales next week. Both of these trips are with, https://coddiwomple-travel.com . I do know for sure that I will continue to run as long as I can, remembering that if both feet are off the ground at the same time I am indeed running no matter the pace. That fraction of a second I am completely airborne is something Cat taught me to enjoy with reckless abandon. I can still hear her taunting encouragement, “Come on old man,” as she jogged backwards.
During this last year, I have either run or walked 2, Marathons, 4, Half Marathons, 25, 10 K’s and 49, 5 k’s in my new quest to do all 50 states in each category. I have driven over 15,000 miles crisscrossing the USA. I have also flown to 10 different countries, plus Hawaii.
Little-known fact, when accomplished that will be a, BINGO. If you, which I will never do, also complete an ultra in all 50 states that would be a, TICK TACK TOE. I did accomplish an ultra when I turned 50, the JFK 50 miler.
As expected I am still dealing with grief daily. The five typical stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, this is not a linear process. Not everyone experiences all five of these feelings, and they can occur in any order, and in some cases repeatedly in addition to other feelings.
While Cat was still alive there was ambiguous loss I had to manage. Ambiguous loss is a loss that occurs without a significant likelihood of reaching emotional closure or a clear understanding. This kind of loss leaves a person searching for answers, and thus complicates and delays the process of grieving, and often results in unresolved grief.
An ambiguous loss can be categorized into two types of loss: physical or psychological. Physical loss and psychological loss differ in terms of what is being grieved for, the loss of the physical body, or the psychological mind. Since the grief process in an ambiguous loss is halted, it is harder to cope or move on to acceptance of the type of loss experienced.
What I do now when I see, hear, or feel something that reminds me of Cat and the subsequent sadness/grief, I embrace the grief and I now have a mantra that I repeat several times to myself.
“I am one blessed man that is always doing the very best that I can.”
Many go through their entire lives without experiencing the sheer depth and breadth of love that we were able to share with each other and hope that will prove to be beneficial throughout my life.
Also, I hope, that I will be fortunate enough to experience that quantity and quality of love once again. It won’t be from lack of effort and I am sure Cat would not have it any other way.
